Taiwanese Weddings

Weddings in Taiwan have changed a lot since the early days. Whilst the Japanese still hold to a number of their old customs with regard to ceremony, the Taiwanese have dispensed with many of theirs. Some aspects are still the same. In heterosexual marriages it’s still the tradition for the woman to have dinner with her family and close friends the night before the wedding. Then on the wedding day she will be collected from her parents’ house by her husband-to-be who will take her to his parents’ house. There they couple will receive a blessing from the man’s parents.

The wedding ceremony is usually a quiet affair. The couple, usually with both sets of parents and occasionally others, heads to the marriage court where papers are signed. The major event, at least in terms of a celebration, comes later at the wedding reception. A large party will be held with many people invited. Each is expected to bring a red envelope with money inside. The names and amounts of money given are studiously recorded. Additional presents may also be brought.

Here we find one of the customs that foreigners might think strange. If a guest gives the couple money on their wedding day – say NT$2000 – then later invites the couple to attend his/her own wedding, the first couple are obliged to attend and to give the new couple twice the amount of money they were given at their wedding – so in this case NT$4000. This obligation is not restricted simply to the giver, but also extends to the giver’s family. So let’s say there’s a man with three children. He gets invited to the wedding of one of his children’s friends and gives them some money for the wedding (NT$5000). Later he invites that couple to the weddings of each of his children. The couple is then obliged to pay NT$10000 to each couple.

To balance this (or at least to stop it turning into a money-making scheme) there is a flip side to the tradition. Any money given to a couple that marries may politely return the amount of money to the giver, with no ill feelings formed between the two parties.

At the wedding reception the bride will arrive and leave three times, each time changing her dress. She will thus wear three separate dresses at the reception. I’m unsure as to whether there’s a set style, but from what I’ve observed there’s normally the traditional wedding dress, a ballroom gown and an elegant evening dress. The dresses are usually done by a single company who offer a complete package including makeup and photography.

It is usually this same company who does the photographs of the couple. Those photos (the usual photos done of only the newly-wedded couple) are not done on the wedding day, but rather before it; often up to a month before the actual day.

There are also various other traditions and it depends on the individual couple as to how many (if any) of these are followed. Here are a few I’ve heard of:

l   The groom’s parents provide the new couple with a house to live in, while the bride’s parents provide the wardrobe and dressing table.

l   The marriage bed has to be a new bed and there is some ceremony to setting it up in the home of the newly-weds.

l   A male child who was born in the year of the Dragon is asked to roll around on the bed. This is a blessing in hope that they will soon give birth to children.

The picture is a typical setting for the wedding reception, though it is for a much larger gathering than those I have attended. The table closest to the cameraman is where the bride, groom and close family members sit. Depending on the number of important people present, this is sometimes split into two tables. Then the other guests are distributed across the room. Behind the cameraman will be a small stage area where various people throughout the proceedings will come up to speak. There will also be a government official who will appear at some point to give them his/her blessing and to wish them well.

If nothing else, the Taiwanese (and indeed the Chinese cultures in general) are very people-orientated.